Are You Too Attached?

Published on February 9, 2012 by Annetta Wilson

I'm a mom. Sometimes that means I want more for my kids than they want for themselves. Often, that means I am more attached to their outcomes than they are.

That's when I get into trouble.

Hey, I'm all about transparency. I'm also a firm believer that we often teach what we need to learn. When we believe in what we do, or we have a perspective based on our experience, we often communicate that with enthusiasm!

Sometimes it can be too much.

What's the lesson here? When you're more attached to an outcome than the person you're communicating with, your passion can work against you.

When you're trying to convince someone that what you have is exactly what they need, you run the risk of turning them off. Human nature can be a strange thing. We get turned off when someone tells us what we 'need'. At the same time, we often want what we can't have.

Even if you're sure you know what someone needs, when the other person feels it's their idea you'll get a lot further.

A great example is the parent who chooses two outfits for a picky youngster in the throes of asserting his or her independence. Either outfit is fine with mom or dad, but the child is allowed to choose. There's no fighting over outfits or temper tantrums (on either side). Everyone wins. Strive for that same outcome in your personal and business communication.

When you're good at what you do, and you know that you help people, it's natural to want to share that with the world. Listen for clues to make sure that the world wants it first.

Tip: The next time you're tempted to enthusiastically share your expertise, ask yourself a few questions first: What's the other person's biggest problem? What pain are they in? Remember, it's all about THEM. Focus on giving, being curious and listening. Be committed to help but not 'attached' to whether your help is accepted..

When you keep that in mind, amazing things happen: people talk themselves into hiring you, buying from you, signing up for your program or following where you lead (your kids may even listen to you!).

When people choose to work with you or take your advice, their results are more dramatic and your influence is greater. It's a mutually beneficial relationship that leaves everyone in a 'win-win' position.

After you've gotten in the door, that's the time to unleash that enthusiasm that makes you a master at what you do!

©2012  Annetta Wilson Media Training and Success Coaching.  All rights reserve

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